We are stardust; billion year old carbon. We are golden; caught in the devil’s bargain. And we’ve got to get ourselves back to the garden.” Joni Mitchell – Woodstock

Met the Perseid Meteor Shower in the wee hours, that one happens ever year on my birthday, thinking, after waking up the following afternoon in pieces; bit at a time, that I was one of those pinpoints of light, arcing the planet for just a moment; lighting some ways. 24,090 days alive; 66 winters, 66 summers.

Should have been dead five or six times that I know about, or damaged at the least. Yet now I’m strongest at the broken places; at the top of my game. Is this heaven; the women loved? It’s to those gentle ones my memory runs. Or is it some new fresh hell to conquer? More likely its somewhere in-between, a Purgatory, wrapped in a Roman Carnival; with Barkers on the Midway.

Tracking memories from that first day to this, that first victory; the winning sperm from Dad’s joyous moment, beating out five hundred million of his others by the whimsical nature of fortune; through all the other victories and defeats, despite the joy and madness my path still finds me mostly winning; yearning for just one more adventure, one more kiss from your perfect fairy-tale lips.

The daylight world outside is tugging like a hobo at my sleeve. I hear fragments of music carried down the wind from some distant radio; like listening to your telephone voice whispering echo’s soft and low. While California’s shaking like your love hips in my brain, whispering and sighing like my tires in the rain.


About circusinpurgatory
Nick Masesso Jr’s fictionalized short stories, poetry and prose have been published in the Starry Night Review, Elegant Thorn Review, Language and and Vagabond Press; the Battered Suitcase. His latest book “Armor of Innocence” and first book “Walking the Midway in Purgatory, a Journal” are available on-line and through bookstores.

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