STARMAN

We are stardust; billion year old carbon. We are golden; caught in the devil’s bargain. And we’ve got to get ourselves back to the garden.” Joni Mitchell – Woodstock

Met the Perseid Meteor Shower in the wee hours, that one happens ever year on my birthday, thinking, after waking up the following afternoon in pieces; bit at a time, that I was one of those pinpoints of light, arcing the planet for just a moment; lighting some ways. 24,090 days alive; 66 winters, 66 summers.

Should have been dead five or six times that I know about, or damaged at the least. Yet now I’m strongest at the broken places; at the top of my game. Is this heaven; the women loved? It’s to those gentle ones my memory runs. Or is it some new fresh hell to conquer? More likely its somewhere in-between, a Purgatory, wrapped in a Roman Carnival; with Barkers on the Midway.

Tracking memories from that first day to this, that first victory; the winning sperm from Dad’s joyous moment, beating out five hundred million of his others by the whimsical nature of fortune; through all the other victories and defeats, despite the joy and madness my path still finds me mostly winning; yearning for just one more adventure, one more kiss from your perfect fairy-tale lips.

The daylight world outside is tugging like a hobo at my sleeve. I hear fragments of music carried down the wind from some distant radio; like listening to your telephone voice whispering echo’s soft and low. While California’s shaking like your love hips in my brain, whispering and sighing like my tires in the rain.

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About circusinpurgatory
Nick Masesso Jr’s fictionalized short stories, poetry and prose have been published in the Starry Night Review, Elegant Thorn Review, Language and Culture.net and Vagabond Press; the Battered Suitcase. His latest book “Armor of Innocence” and first book “Walking the Midway in Purgatory, a Journal” are available on-line and through bookstores.

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