Heartbreak Warfare

“Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you, you’ve just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.” Bob Marley

Dropped a gift off for my Muse Lisa today and while lovingly preparing my lunch she shared a story about her first real passion filled fight with her new lover. This gave rise to the question “why do we hurt the ones we love” and that conundrum was on my mind as I left the Deli and met a dapper looking gent who announced himself “from New Orleans” and the plea that he needed money.

I passed him a fiver and in doing so, unknown to me when, while fumbling with my hot lunch bag and digging for the cash, I must have dropped my car key. It used to cost 35 cents to get a key cut but, thanks to space age technology the new programmable ones that open doors and truck and set the alarm, they cost $250.00; so much for Karma.

I guess we hurt the ones we love because they let us. Gandhi said “Nobody can hurt me without my permission.” The Mahatma got that right. The only people who are allowed to hurt me are those I care about. If we don’t care about them they can’t hurt us. Mostly they don’t know us anyway so when they sling an ad hominem I just figure it’s got nothing to do with me. I don’t own it. Let them take responsibility for the realities they intercept. Simply put; I ain’t emotionally involved.

The more pertinent question generally answers itself. We discover the length, breath, width and depth of a relationship based upon how much stress it will endure before it becomes fatal. Family is sacrosanct and no hurt is big enough to remove them from my protection. After family, everyone else is just strangers, with those exceptional few that we circle into the fold. We don’t have to make the evaluation intellectually, trying to decide if they are or they’re not family. It’s instinctual; you know it when you feel it.

I just try to remember if someone who I love is hurting me that they must be hurting real bad inside and appeal to my better angels, don’t take it personally and revert to my default position of compassion. I’m not saying I’m able to do so in the moment. I’m known for hitting back when struck. But given time for reflection I usually, hopefully, do the right thing. But sometimes, if it doesn’t feel worth it, I do the hardest thing to do, just give up. When this happens, and it does, I don’t feel like I’ve lost anything; since we can’t lose what we never had.   

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About circusinpurgatory
Nick Masesso Jr’s fictionalized short stories, poetry and prose have been published in the Starry Night Review, Elegant Thorn Review, Language and Culture.net and Vagabond Press; the Battered Suitcase. His latest book “Armor of Innocence” and first book “Walking the Midway in Purgatory, a Journal” are available on-line and through bookstores.

2 Responses to Heartbreak Warfare

  1. Betty Blew says:

    Ah, the old blockade. I know it well. Alas, live by the sword and die by it. We don’t live without letting ourselves be open to pain. Love your writings.

  2. James Mcfarland says:

    Artistically drafted and magnificently bold, Nick Masesso Jr. once again places a Flag of Truth on the etheric reach of Everest. Spiritual yet contritely imbued with stark reality, this shaman, this guru, this fellow falcon instills majesty from other carnations, perhaps even, I often wonder, written by Plato himself, still in the flesh.
    A 9.7 rating. Myriad Unlimited LLC.

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