Judgment

“Boy, you gotta carry that weight, carry that weight a long time” – The Beatles 

The other day my mother told me that when I got to heaven I was going to get a gold star. Apparently she approved of something I did, or restraining myself; didn’t do. It felt good, felt nice carrying that one around in my pocket. It requires either young women, whose horizons are filled with promise and possibility, or old women who have shed the bitter, to pulse that kind of love light into the world. If more of us would give others something nice to feel better about them-selves we’d see less vitriolic angst, less arguing and fighting; less violence; less anger, less hostility.

Forming opinions is the culprit. When we decide to adopt an opinion and hold on to it, it lies on our shoulders like a weight we carry; more opinions more weight. And each time the subject arises we feel compelled to defend our opinion, as in becoming defensive. Pretty soon we are weighed down and spend all our time defending our opinions. Picking sides diverts us and prevents us from asking the more important questions: How do we know what’s right? How shall we think?

In order to be truly free; each man, each woman, must each day, tear at his or her most deeply held beliefs; in an attempt to disprove them; those that stay true; stay true for that day. Things change. Our recent fascination with knocking down the other is cocaine in the beginning and cancer in the end. If we choose that path then surely we are lost. Better to realize that all the information is not yet in and we are not obligated to form an opinion just yet. Rather the default position should be compassion for the angst of mystery; knowing that it’s inside mystery where magic and music live.

Similarly, we spend a lifetime trying to figure out the male/female conundrum, which is impossible as a result of what Tim Leary called, “both the equality of and the magnetic difference between the sexes “; calling us to practice “a live-and-let-live tolerance of difference’. Some things we were simply meant to enjoy; Viva de la différence.

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About circusinpurgatory
Nick Masesso Jr’s fictionalized short stories, poetry and prose have been published in the Starry Night Review, Elegant Thorn Review, Language and Culture.net and Vagabond Press; the Battered Suitcase. His latest book “Armor of Innocence” and first book “Walking the Midway in Purgatory, a Journal” are available on-line and through bookstores.

One Response to Judgment

  1. James Mcfarland says:

    Cool. 8.4 rating

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