Dream Weaver

I woke to hear the radio DJ explaining to those folks up at 6 am that should they win the 540 million dollar lottery today they should 1. Get a lawyer. 2. Set up a Trust so no one could get to your money; and 3. Remain anonymous. Apparently this joker was wasted or must be a born again Christian with temporary amnesia regarding the oft rendered refrain of their lot “What would Jesus do”, along with being clinically half way to a retard because those are the last three things I’d do.

I would need a lawyer? Why, because they are so trust worthy? A Trust would allow me to tell anyone asking for money that it was tied up; labeling me forever the world largest sphincter muscle. The thing any normal person would want to do would be the thing that would by far be the most fun; start doling it out in million dollar chunks to anyone who had ever been even remotely nice to us and to do it before they ask. And three and probably tied for the most fun with number two is the “HI Mom” moment you’d surely get on Piers Morgan; priceless. For me anyway the challenge would not be who to give how much to but resisting the urge to use the power the money would give me to screw my enemies; such as they are.

I often think about distributing vast wealth when I can’t get to sleep so I’ve given it some thought. After the obligatory million dollar gifts to the aforementioned folks; friends and family and the charitable donation of a wing to the Saint Jude’s Medical Center (that one’s for you Mom) I have the hedonistic vision of buying several fancy hotel/restaurant/spa retreats in exotic locations where friends would have an open invitation to visit at any time; all on the arm. You won’t even need to bring your swim suit and tooth brush; everything needed will be available gratis in the gift shop.

A couple of houses; Pacific Heights in San Francisco and another on the other coast; say one of the Tony boroughs in New York City; Tribeca maybe so I could hob knob with DeNiro and Scorsese and, you know, discuss funding their next project (I will accept a cameo; preferably a love scene with Rosaria Dawson) and maybe something on the ocean in Malibu as well. Add a nice chauffeured limo in each local and a wardrobe designed and fitted by Hugo Boss himself (if he’s still alive) and I’m good to go. I suppose I have to admit the desire to ring up those women who thought they’d find better prospects elsewhere and say “how do you like me now”?

Not too much left; the obligatory world tour on a private rented Lear and a cruise across the pond on the QE2, upper bridge deck please, and anything else that packs as much fun into every hour left while having a pulse and being above ground. There must be a couple hundred million left and anyone who holds onto that much bread when billions starve had better hope that their personal god has a sense of humor.


About circusinpurgatory
Nick Masesso Jr’s fictionalized short stories, poetry and prose have been published in the Starry Night Review, Elegant Thorn Review, Language and Culture.net and Vagabond Press; the Battered Suitcase. His latest book “Armor of Innocence” and first book “Walking the Midway in Purgatory, a Journal” are available on-line and through bookstores.

One Response to Dream Weaver

  1. James Mcfarland says:

    8.8 rating, a wide perspective of the fervor surrounding this spectacle, like sacred cows trod ding to the promised ;land. A cruel yet justifiable reality check.

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